When Salvation Abandons You
by Kimi Bristow
Summary: Oneshot...Lucy Saxon remembers...


**A/N: God I feel like such a newbie fanfic writer...I haven't written proper fanfic for ages...mainly because I was sick of writing fluff which I might actually end up writing again rolls eyes  
****But on the bright side, I have a new ship: Lucy/Harry or Lucy/Master (depends really). And don't worry if you're wondering, I still ship 10/Rose and 10/Reinette (ok, that's ship not so popular, but whatever...)**

**Enjoy!**

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**When Salvations Abandons You**

A long time ago before she saw him for who he was, Lucy believed that Harry was the good guy…the one who would once and for all fix the planet. Make it superior and glorious and generally protect it from harm. Well, that's what he told her.

And then this man that Harry called the Doctor had appeared from out of nowhere…and her world changed, for the worst instead of for the better.

She and Harry had only been married about a year when this man had come along. During that precious Doctor-free year, Harry had loved her…showered her with attention, love, praise and gifts. Took her everywhere he went and showed her off like a priceless porcelain doll, even making sure that no-one except him could touch her. Even took her to Utopia…

The nights they had spent together, she kept safe within her heart. She could still remember every single time she had curled up against him listening contently to his double heartbeat. He had told her that he had been born with a special condition that had caused him to have two hearts and naturally Lucy accepted it. To her at the time, it had seemed plausible and that was good enough for her. Normal people would have freaked out at the sound and the revelation, but not Lucy and it only made him love her more especially when she promised that she wouldn't tell a soul about it. It was just their little secret. Between husband and wife.

He on the other hand, would always have one arm around her, keeping her close whilst resting his chin on her head and stroking her hair in an affectionate way. Oh, she longed to have one of those nights right now…but that was impossible, he was gone…by her own hand.

But as she had mentioned before, the Doctor had come along and Harry had changed because of it. Her once loving husband had fortunately remained loving towards her for the time being, but had become completely insane in the process. She knew that her Harry had eccentric qualities; it was something she had been attracted to when they were dating and she had still found it after they had married. But this Harry, this split personality he had that he liked to call The Master had been eccentric beyond belief. If his beloved children, the Toclafane, hadn't protected him all of the time, Lucy was sure that he would have been put in a straitjacket by now and would be locked in some high tech psychiatric ward.

She had prayed that when he had found his precious Doctor, the unconventional behaviour would stop. But God hadn't listened to her, had he? Harry had just became worse because of it and she had found herself on the receiving end of his anger, as had the Doctor.

Fortunately for her, Harry had still loved her enough not to age her and keep her in a tent with accompanying dog bowl. Something she had had to remind herself every day to be grateful for.

Day after day, she had been forced to watch her husband abuse the poor man, taunt him about some woman called Rose and his companions Martha and Jack. She had often wondered about Martha and how she was faring wherever she had gone. Now that she thought about it, Martha was probably the reason why Harry had stayed the way he was. The Doctor had been captured, an aged old man and completely harmless. But then again Martha had not been that way when she had disappeared, had she? She had been off god knows where and she probably had had Harry worried. Because as Lucy had been told many times by various sources, Martha was not completely harmless and was just as dangerous as the Doctor himself when she wanted to be.

The completely harmless bit, Lucy had believed, but she had scoffed at the dangerous bit. Martha was as dangerous as the Doctor? She had found it hard to believe, well until Harry had died. But during that time, Lucy had built up a secret friendship with the Doctor and learned the truth.

From him, she had realised that all the stories Harry had ever told her about the Doctor and what he was about to do to the planet was a lie. That's when her loyalties started to waver and she tried to break away from Harry. She had even stuck up for the Doctor when Harry went to age the Doctor even more. Luckily for the Doctor, he had stopped …only to turn his attention to Lucy. That's why she had that bruise on her face at the time of his demise. Later she realised that her efforts were all in vain. Harry aged the Doctor several days later.

But that hadn't stopped her from continuing her secret breakaway; that one moment and the Doctor's aging had only served as a catalyst. As the days continued to go on, she had come to think of the Doctor and Martha Jones as her salvations and possibly Harry's too.

And then it happened, Martha Jones returned (well actually she was captured)…to everyone's relief including strangely the Doctor's. Lucy had thought him completely mad till she had realised his plan. Martha wasn't completely harmless after all, she had had the power of words…and one word in particular at this present time was more powerful than all others: Doctor.

She witnessed her husband's defences fall as he became temporarily harmless and the Doctor was rejuvenated. She watched as the Doctor reversed time and they became the only ones in the entire world to remember the event. It was then she had hoped that the Master side of her husband would completely disappear. But it had remained and it was only then that she realised that her marriage was a complete sham. She had married Harry Saxon, not the Master. Even the Doctor referred to him as the Master and she realised Harry had never existed, otherwise the Doctor would have called him that. The loveable rogue she had to come to love was just a made-up character; he had lied to her all along. Something he had vowed never to do, in that small chapel in the Scottish Highlands.

And so she had shot him…mainly because he had lied to her and that he was not worth saving. Her husband Harry Saxon had been worth saving, but what was the point in keeping his body alive when he had never actually existed? What then broke her heart, was that during those few precious seconds from when she had shot him to the point where the Doctor had taken her 'husband' in his arms, was that she saw 'Harry'. He didn't look evil; he looked innocent and shocked. But then, wouldn't you if you had just been shot? So she decided not to run up to him, begging for forgiveness, she just remained there numb reflecting on her fake marriage, constantly reminding herself that the man dying was not her husband. She didn't even feel the gun being removed from her grip…she only realised she didn't have it when she noticed that man remove the gun cartridge so she couldn't do any more harm.

She had watched calmly as the Doctor begged the Master to regenerate, begged him not to leave him and only then did she realise what she had done. She had taken life away from the only person who would ever be the Doctor's equal. He was once again the last of his kind. She couldn't blame him when he stood up and glared at her, before leaving with Martha and the rest of them in tow, the Master's body limp in his arms. She would never ever forget that glare, it had been one of those looks that one gets when you know that you are never going to be forgiven. No matter how hard you beg for it...

Fortunately for her, the death and destruction had never happened so when she returned to the real world, she only had the task of explaining how the newest Prime Minister had come to die only a few months after being instated. Naturally she had been arrested under suspicion of murder and immediately found not guilty especially after the prosecutor had spotted the nice pretty bruise on her face and the jury had come to the conclusion of self-defence. She still longed to tell them the truth but hadn't wanted to run the risk of being locked up in a high tech psychiatric ward.

And now she was here at her family estate, absentmindedly playing with a chain around her neck. The chain, which had the Master's ring, strung along it. She had decided to retrieve it from his funeral pyre and keep it as a keepsake and also as a precaution. 'Harry' had mentioned that that ring was absolutely vital to bringing him back if anything ever happened to him. But Lucy didn't want him back and certainly didn't want anyone else bringing him back either, didn't want him to track her down or her newborn child…didn't want him to destroy her new world as he surely would. Who wouldn't wreak revenge on the person who had killed them? She just wanted to be free….like she could have been if she had never met 'Harry Saxon'

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